


Love without end, Amen

by dothenaomicampbellwalk



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Male Character(s) - Freeform, Sakusa Kiyoomi-centric, miya atsumu is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28017810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dothenaomicampbellwalk/pseuds/dothenaomicampbellwalk
Summary: But you're still checking each other outNobody wants to blowNobody wants to be left outYou can't leave, 'cause your heart is thereBut you can't stay, 'cause you been somewhere else!You can't cry, 'cause you'll look broke downBut you're cryin' anyway 'cause you're all broke down!It's a family affair
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	Love without end, Amen

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy this very self indulgent piece that I'm very attached to. I hope you like it as much as I do!

Kiyoomi makes his way towards his apartment, which is two streets away from the gymnasium the Jackals practice in. He stops by the bakery to get sourdough bread. He’s craving burrata and sourdough bread, and he already has the burrata at home. He doesn’t have tomatoes nor olive oil, but this will do. He thanks the baker on his way out, and heads to his apartment.

It’s nothing too luxurious, by the Sakusas standards, but thanks to his parents he has a breathtaking view of the city of Osaka, and there’s an elevator. There was absolutely no way he would live on the eighth floor without an elevator.

After a relaxing shower, he eats his bread and burrata in an unusual silence. He’s not going to admit it out loud, but he sort of misses Atsumu at the moment. But his boyfriend was the first to leave after practice to go to his mother’s house for her birthday. Atsumu insisted Kiyoomi should join them but eventually gave up when Kiyoomi kept declining. He really didn’t want to impose, and they haven’t been dating for that long. Kiyoomi is _not_ ready to meet his two months boyfriend’s mother.

His phone rings, and he hopes it’s his boyfriend. Kiyoomi frowns when he sees his brother’s name on the screen. They barely talk, and the few occasions they exchange words is in the group chat their older sister made a few years ago, trying to create some sibling bond that they truly don’t have.

Kiyoomi picks up and doesn’t say anything. He almost hangs up the phone when he only hears breathing and thinks it’s a mistake.

“Kiyoomi”, he finally hears his brother’s voice. It’s as distant and uninterested as ever and he wonders if he sounds like that too.

“Kyohei”, Kiyoomi thinks that maybe the flat tone is familiar tone and maybe, they have something in common. He hears a feminine voice behind and he’s pretty sure it’s Kamiko. What Kyohei is doing with her is a mystery, but Kiyoomi doesn’t say anything about it. “What is it?”

“What’s up? It’s been a while” it’s an understatement, Kiyoomi thinks. He hums in agreement, and Kyohei sounds pressured, “So um, maybe we should catch up sometimes”, this startles Kiyoomi a little too much. It’s only his brother so why does it sound like a trap? Well, there are a few reasons to think so but Kiyoomi isn’t going to list them down.

“Okay? Why though?” He doesn’t want to sound this surprised, or rude. But this is too weird. His brother sighs before he breathes a ‘ _ouch_ ’. Kiyoomi smiles. He’s definitely with Kamiko.

“Look, Kamiko wants you to come to Tokyo for Christmas. Don’t come if you’re not- ouch, will you stop punching me? God” Kyohei whines and Kiyoomi smiles. Christmas. They were never the family who celebrates Christmas. As the youngest child, he usually spent Christmas all by himself or with Motoya’s family, since his parents were systematically busy with work. Kamiko was away for college when he entered middle school and med school didn’t allow her to have a break. And Kyohei preferred spending the holiday with his friends or girlfriend of the moment.

“Will mom and dad be there?” Kiyoomi asks a little anxious.

“Nope. They’re in Honk-Kong until January 1st”, _wait, they’re what,_ “Yeah, I didn’t know either” Kyohei sounds like he’s smiling in mutual understanding and Kiyoomi shakes his head. They’re unbelievable and yet’s it sounds just like them. Kiyoomi wouldn’t be able to count the times he’d go home to only fins his brother, unhappy because he had to babysit him for a week, their parents somewhere on the globe.

“I’ll be there. Tell Kamiko I say hi” he says before hanging up. He breathes deeply to relax his now tensed neck. He looks at the date on his phone screen, Christmas is in two weeks. He would rather spend the holiday with Atsumu, but his boyfriend’s family probably makes a big deal of Christmas when his family has never celebrated together. The last time they were all in the same house was when Kamiko divorced two years ago and they helped her moving her things into her new house. And before, it was at her wedding five years prior to that. Maybe that’s what drew him up to Atsumu, the feeling of warmth and being welcomed.

-

Kiyoomi’s eighth birthday happens on a chilly but sunny day. He’s excited to celebrate his birthday, like every child his age. He’s happy because it’s a Sunday, which means his parents and siblings are supposed to be home. He really wants to spend time with Kamiko before she leaves for college, and he wants to show Kyohei that he’s a not child anymore so they can play together.

He goes downstairs, a shy smile and a light blush painting his chubby cheeks. He’s dressed as nicely as an eighth year old boy could, he even borrowed a bowtie from his father.

When he enters the kitchen, his sister and mother are chatting and preparing breakfast together. It makes Kiyoomi so full of something he doesn’t quite know how to word it. But he smiles grow wider as he greets them. “Mom! Sis!” Kamiko ruffles his curls fondly and wishes him a happy birthday, and his mother cuddles him with a kiss on the cheek. He sits on the counter and laughs along with the two women. Kiyoomi notices how pretty they are. Kamiko looks more and more like his mom, all in beauty and elegance and intelligence. He’s only eight, but he’s smart too. He notices this kind of things.

“Where are dad and Kyohei?” He asks, and is met with two embarrassed faces. They really look a lot like each other.

“Omi-chan, sorry but today it’ll just be the three of us”, Kamiko explains, “Kyohei is at volleyball practice, and something came up at work so dad had to go.” She smiles at him, and gives him a glass of orange juice.

“And dad might come home before the end of the day. Maybe your brother too. But we’ll have fun, I promise.”

She shouldn’t have made such a promise. Kiyoomi’s eighth birthday ends up being Kamiko and him watching movies and eating all of Kiyoomi’s favorites. His mom had to go their company for an emergency and help his dad. Kyohei apparently forgot his birthday and didn’t come home until 6 and went straight to his bedroom, as he usually does.

“I’m sorry, Omi-chan. I don’t want to leave you, you know.” Kamiko puts a hand on his head, staring at the switched off TV.

“You’re not leaving me? You’re just going to college.” Kiyoomi points out like it’s the easiest thing in the world, because in his eighth year old mind and heart, it is.

“You’re right. But we won’t be spending as much time together. I’m going to miss you, little brother.” She brings her brother closer to her, so she can rest her chin on top of his black curls. Kiyoomi doesn’t say anything in return, he doesn’t know what to say. He thinks that Kyohei will be around for a good two years until he leaves for college too, but deep down he knows living under the same roof as him doesn’t mean much.

Kiyoomi’s eighth birthday is the last attempt at celebrating his birthday with his family, and the first time a family member made a promise they held : he never spent time with his sister ever after.

-

As he parks his car in the alleyway, Kiyoomi closes the GPS app to call Atsumu as he promised.

“Hey babe! How was the road?” Atsumu speaks a little too loudly, and Kiyoomi wants to hear his voice forever. But he keeps it to himself.

“I’m never driving from Osaka to Tokyo ever again. How’s your dad?” He rubs his free hand on his chest to try and warm himself up a bit, but gives up and turns on the contact again to activate the heater.

“He’s fine. His girlfriend made too much food and I think she might be pregnant. Samu is criticizing every single thing that he puts into his mouth. Suna looks like he’s gonna jump off the window any minute now. The usual Christmas Eve with the Miyas.” Atsumu lists all the things going wrong at his dad’s house, and Kiyoomi can picture him resting an elbow on the table while he supports his head with his hand and phone.

“Maybe it’s not too late for me to come and save the day.” Kiyoomi is half joking, half serious. He looks by the window and winces. This is going to be so weird.

“Shut up. Go inside already, they’re probably waiting for you. Plus, you even bought gifts. I know you’re loaded but it’s not a reason to throw your cash out the window.”

“But”,

“Shush. I don’t wanna hear it. Go inside. I’m gonna hang up now. We’ll talk later, Omi-omi.”

And Atsumu does hang up, not letting Kiyoomi say a word. He smiles and gathers all the courage he needs to get out of his car. With his arms full with gifts, he uses his phone to knock on the door, which immediately opens.

“Omi-chan! Come in”, his sister opens the door wider for him to enter and she helps him carrying the boxes and bags. He takes off his shoes and puts the boxes on the floor before greeting his sister properly. He looks at her, unsure what to do. He leans down to hug her, and she hugs him back tightly. He’s taken aback by the gesture, but it’s not so unusual of her. It just doesn’t happen often, because they don’t see each other in the first place.

“Hey, Kamiko.” He revels in the hug, and he regrets ever considering not coming.

“Uncle Omi! You’re here!” His niece, Mei, attacks his leg with an embrace before she tries to climb on him. He lets go of his sister to takes his niece into his arms. He kisses her on the head and walks into the living room. It’s beautifully decorated, as expected of Kamiko. There’s even a Christmas tree standing next to the fireplace.

“Isn’t it dangerous to put a very flammable tree next to fire, which actually burn?” Kiyoomi teases his sister who slaps his arm. He laughs.

“God, I know! I only noticed when Kyohei lit it up. Ugh.” She rolls her eyes and hurries into the opened kitchen to get him something to drink. He sits on the sofa, and Mei runs upstairs to ‘put on her Christmas sweater’. She’s a very lively four years old, and Kiyoomi wishes he could see more of her.

“Kyohei’s already here?” He asks his sister as she hands him a cold beer.

“Ah, yeah, I forgot to buy the dessert so he rushed to the store to get us some pavlovas.” She smiles so easily that it brings comfort back into Kiyoomi’s chest. Atsumu would get along with her. “So, what’s going on in your life? Tell me.”

“I’ve been adjusting to living in Osaka. I think I like it better than Tokyo.” It’s an understatement. If he had to choose between the two cities to live for the rest of his life, he’d choose Osaka.

“Oh? You must really like it there. I watched your last game against EJP, you looked good.” He knows she watched the game, because she texted him ‘ _you’re awesome!!_ ’, which he replied with a dry ‘ _thanks_ ’. He would like to punch himself right now.

“Yeah, I like it there. There are people I’ve become close with,” he begins, scratches the back of his head in embarrassment, and finally says it, “I’m dating someone, actually.” He looks at the golden star on top of the Christmas tree, which has become very interesting.

“Oh? Who’s that? A teammate? How long has it been?” Kamiko sounds so excited that he can’t not answer her questions. He forgot, as time passed and distance took place between them, how easy it was talking to his sister. He misses her. He doesn’t have the chance to answer, because the door opens and Kyohei appears into the room. The older Sakusa brother goes straight to the kitchen without looking in their direction and Kiyoomi has an uncomfortable feeling of deja vu.

“Hi.” Kyohei waves a hand in Kiyoomi’s direction and seats on the maroon velvet chair on the corner of the living room, still in Kamiko and Kiyoomi’s field of vision.

“Hello.” Kiyoomi clears his throat, it’s suddenly dry. He takes a sip of his beer and he really, really has no idea what to say.

“Wasn’t sure you’d actually make it.” Kyohei’s smirk cover his face, it makes Kiyoomi furious.

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?”

Before things get to heated, Mei is back with them, wearing a very ugly sweater with a smiling Olaf on it. Kyohei takes this as the opportunity to smoothly ignore his brother and takes the little on his lap, giving her all of his attention.

Kiyoomi stares at them, and then feels his sister’s hand on his shoulder. He knows she feels sorry for him, for them. He’s not certain what can be done, though. All of this seems like a lost cause. They never were a family, not a real one.

-

Kiyoomi becomes a regular for Itachiyama on his first year. The first thing he does is text his siblings. His sister, who’s awfully busy with her residency, replies the day after with ‘ _congrats omi-chan! I knew you had it in you!’_ His brother never replies.

His parents, less busy than they used to, doesn’t really approve of him pursuing volleyball. They say it’s a passion at most, but not a respectable career perspective.

“Your sister is working hard to become a surgeon. _Even_ your brother is graduating _cum laude_ in business, though Kamiko graduated _summa cum laude_.” His mother’s harsh words never fails to hurt him, but he never talks back, he know better. He simply wishes she would’ve remained the same gentle person she used to be, instead of becoming so demanding, so harsh and cold. So like his father. He wonders of Kamiko and Kyohei had it as hard as him when they were his age. They probably did.

Kiyoomi delays his entry into the v-league to do what his parents want from him, and goes to college. The only good thing about college is that he left his house and doesn’t have to hear his parent’s disapproval on a daily basis. It’s only when he calls, or when he picks up the phone. It becomes more and more a rarity.

One day, he calls Kyohei because he doesn’t know who to turn to to. He could call Motoya, but if he tells his cousin that he might have romantic feelings for Wakatoshi, of all people, he’ll never hear the end of it. And Suna will know, by association, which means the twins will know and God, he doesn’t need Osamu and Atsumu to know anything about his (lack of) love life.

So he tries to talk to his brother. He’s met with a wall of bricks that not even the nastiest spike could break down. “You should focus on studying instead of flirting with people way out of your league. He’s pro, Kiyoomi. Don’t try the impossible.”

Kyohei’s words resonates for so long that he forgets his feelings for Wakatoshi. He buries them deep. He focuses on graduating with at least student honors and it tires him so much. He doesn’t care about engineering. It may be childish, but the only thing he really cares about in the entire world is volleyball and he’s damn good at it. He knows pro teams are waiting for him, and it’s the only thing that keeps him on his two feet.

Kiyoomi graduates without the honors but is scouted by so many v-league teams that even his parents congratulate him. If he believes his father’s words, they made Kyohei feel like shit for recently breaking up with his two years long girlfriend. ' _He should have proposed to her, that’s not how you keep a woman’_. Kiyoomi wants to say that the only reason his mother stays with him is because she’s too comfortable in the lavish lifestyle he provides, but the youngest Sakusa keeps his mouth shut.

-

“I don’t know what I ever did to him, ‘Tsumu. But he clearly hates my guts.” Kiyoomi’s phone is on the bed and his AirPods in his ears, as he unpacks his things for the night in of his sister’s guest room. His voice is almost a whisper, although Kyohei’s room is downstairs. Thankfully, Kamiko’s surgeon salary allows her to have a (too) huge house, with (too) many bedrooms with their own bathrooms.

“Maybe he resents you?” Atsumu suggests, but it still doesn’t make sense to Kiyoomi. He’s never done shit to any of his siblings. _They_ abandoned him. And he holds a particular grudge against Kyohei.

“He didn’t say a word to me even during dinner? I shouldn’t have come. No, I’m lying. I’m glad I came, I missed Kamiko and Mei.” He sits on the bed and looks absentmindedly by the window.

“Did you try to talk to him?”

“No.”

“Sakusa Kiyoomi.” Atsumu scolds him. It is not nice.

“Not the full name, Tsumu.”

“Sakusa Kiyoomi, this is Christmas and you’re ruining it for your sister and niece. You and your brother equally. I’m not saying to pour your heart out and hug him but be an adult and say what you have to say? It’s not that complicated.” Atsumu speaks too fast and frankly, Kiyoomi doesn’t want to hear any of it. But he still listens and agrees with Atsumu because of course he’s right.

“Easy for you, you grew up with a twin. You were forced to communicate.”

“And look how I’ve turned out? I’m amazing, Omi.” _yeah, you are,_ Kiyoomi thinks, but doesn’t say. Maybe he should.

“I miss you.” That slipped out. He doesn’t regret it. “I miss you so much.”

“Ah, I miss you too babe. Let’s do something for New Year’s Eve together, yeah? Maybe just watch movies and drink wine all night. And have sex in the shower.” Atsumu whispers the last words, making Kiyoomi shivers a little bit.

“That sounds fun, I’d like that. You’ll cook?” Kiyoomi smiles a smile that he would deny if he were ever asked about it.

“Sure. I’ll make whatever you want.” Atsumu voice is sultry in Kiyoomi’s ears, he wants to be with him as soon as possible to hold him in his arms.

“Ok. Good. I have to go, we’ll talk later.”

“Later.”

He won’t be able to refrain from saying ‘ _I love you_ ’ for much longer, Kiyoomi knows it.

It’s past midnight when Kiyoomi goes downstairs. Mei is already sleeping, and his siblings are sipping on red wine on the sofa. They look closer than he remembers. He wonders why, and when that happened.

He pours himself a glass of wine and opts to sit on the floor, resting his back on the wooden coffee table. His sister smiles at him, his brother blatantly ignores him.

“I brought gifts.” Kiyoomi simply says, and his sister beams. She would really, really get along with Atsumu. That makes him remember they never got the chance to finish the conversation from earlier. He gets up to retrieve the gifts and gets back. He sits back on the floor and hands a box to Kamiko, and a bag to Kyohei. As he sister smiles, his brother looks intrigued. They open their gifts together, and his older siblings look at each other before laughing.

“Omi-chan, thank you!” She holds the Christmas mug with Rudolph the reindeer wearing a red scarf on it, and keeps laughing.

“Kiyoomi, this is the worst gift I’ve had in my entire existence.” Kyohei’s laugh is close from being hysterical and Kiyoomi is honestly pissed. “Starry socks. You bought me starry socks. When am I supposed to wear them, hm?” That bastard would get along with Atsumu, too. His boyfriend’s duality reflects in his siblings and he’s starting to question his entire existence.

“Fuck off. I didn’t know what to buy so I got you the same stuff Atsumu got for his brother and his boyfriend.” Saying it out loud makes Kiyoomi realize that Atsumu might have bought those ugly gifts with the purpose of pissing off Osamu and Suna. He’s also, accidentally, revealed the identity of his boyfriend to his sister, and that he even had a boyfriend to his brother. He knows they connected one and one together.

“You’re dating Miya Atsumu?” Kyohei asks, taking the socks he was wearing off, to put on his brand new, yellow and blue starry socks.

“Yes.” Kiyoomi blushes and looks away. He doesn’t need his brother’s disapproval again. But Kyohei simply says “Good for you”, and Kiyoomi feels his heart beating faster.

“How long?” His sister sounds as excited as she was earlier finding out her youngest brother was dating someone.

“It’ll soon be three months.” He answers not without difficulty. He’s never had this kind of conversations with his siblings before. It’s new, it’s weird, but he welcomes it.

“Did you tell mom and dad?” Kamiko asks, and her brothers laugh in unisson.

“Sis, seriously.”

“Kamiko, when did they ever call us to catch up on our personal lives? Last time dad called me he _demanded_ I send him my contract with the MSBY so he could have his lawyer examine it. It was like a month ago. Didn’t even say hello.” Kiyoomi pours the wine in his brother’s glass, and into his. He won’t end up the night sober, but he doesn’t care. His sister laughs but agrees.

“Did you?” Kyohei asks.

“Nope. He didn’t ask again so I guess he forgot. And doesn’t really care.” He only shrugs, and drinks.

“I was on the phone with mom two weeks ago, like an hour before Kamiko bullied me into inviting you over for Christmas. She said I better find a suitable wife before our cousins get married before me. I pretended I was on the train and I couldn’t hear her.” The three of them drink to that.

“Mom said she saw you-know-who and his new girlfriend in Roppongi Hills a while ago, and that she wishes her sons were as respectable and manly as him. I told her he doesn’t even try to see Mei anymore. She said it was a woman’s job to raise the children.” She finishes her glass and takes the whole bottle to herself.

“That sucks.”

“Yup.”

They go on like this for two hours, drinking wine and complaining about their parents. The constant discomfort between them slowly evaporating as they realize it was never their fault if they didn’t get to be a real family, but admit they should’ve tried harder.

“You know being the oldest, and a girl at that, really made me feel guilty about us falling apart. So I thought, fuck mom and dad? I know it’s childish but seriously, fuck them? They’re not supportive. I’m a frigging neurosurgeon and they still have something bad to say every time I call.”

“I’m working for them so I can say it with all my chest, fuck them. They’re fucking tyrants. They didn’t make children, they made potential future CEOs of the company. I hate wearing a tie to work.”

“Fuck them. Love them, though.”

“Yeah, same.”

“Same.”

___________

Tsumu

How’s it goin?? I hope you’re not killing each other

Istg im gonna rip off Samu’s head what is wrong with him?!?!???!!!!

Hey

Did ur parents name u and ur siblings with names starting with a K for like

Aesthetic purposes?

Like the Kardashians

They’re all KK idk if u noticed

Even kris jenner used to be a KK

Omi my dad wants me dead

I asked his gf if she was pregnant and she said no

She looks very pregnant to me

I don’t think I can handle another sibling tho

Tsumu

Do you ever stop stalking?

Ill be here by the end of the day

I love you.

Say it to my face bitch


End file.
